becoming bridezilla

It's official, I've become bridezilla.

I don't know exactly how or when but it happened.

And I'm sorry it did.

I wish I could enjoy more the process of planning our wedding, but latetly it seems like a huge neverending task...

so many dissapointments, so many things to do in the daily to-do-list...

So much stress, and fears rising up to the surface, its far more complex than people tell you it is.

I wish I could be more of a happy and excited bride to be, instead of an overwhelmed, hypersensitive one.

Oh, and by the way, I'm pretty sure there should be a term for Groomzila, he's been showing up latetly too.

writing our own vows

Yeah sure, why not? Sounds incredibly romantic... it should be quite simple... NOT!
And its not that I don't know what to say, I know I want to say what Stéph represents and means to me, and what I promise and wish as a wife for us in our life together, from this day forth...
The thing is how to do it in one or two paragraphs, in a simple yet romantic way?
I already wrote about 2 pages both sides of brainstorming about the subject.
I think I can let it marinate a while, and come back to it later.

3 1/2 years together, so many experiences, memories, joys, laughter, tears, fights, special moments, crisis overcomed, the love, the passion, the connection between us, our complicity, how he gets me, our own little language, our little world together, the fact that we found eachother, that love does exist for us, that we want it to last forever, that we are willing to commit to eachother for the rest of our lives and make it work.

Those are just a few things I would like to consider while writting my vows.

life's guilty little pleasures

Negociación conmigo misma:
- Salir de casa y hacer algo... qué?
- Bueno que tal si vamos a ese salón de thé donde venden esos deliciosos Scones de vainilla con chabacano acompañados de crema y mermelada de frambuesa?
- Mmm... pero eso es un poco engordador, no crees?
- No cuando vas en bici, 20 min ida y vuelta valen la pena.
- Perfecto! Vaaaamonos!

Entonces así fue como en una tranquila tarde de domingo, luego que todos mis esfuerzos por pasar tiempo con alguna de mis amigas en Montréal fueran infructíferos, me dirigí al salón de thé, conmigo misma y me tomé un delicioso Darjeeling con un Scone. Ah, y para apaciguar aún más la culpa, pues le traje uno a mi prometido junto con una bolsita de thé verde a la menta... calmando así mi consciencia.

En fin, para aprovechar el tiempo, pedí pluma y papel y me dispuse a escribir el porqué es importante para mi el matrimonio (suena simple, no?) y una lluvia de ideas para escribir nuestros votos que pronunciaremos el día de la boda. Pero de ello hablaré en otra entrada de blog...


Y hablando de esos pequeños placeres que hacen de la vida algo maravilloso, ando con una racha de ver 2 a 4 episodios (solo duran 20 min) de una serie que se llama HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Y lo que sucede es que sé que hay 3 o 4 temporadas, así que puedo ver cuantos capítulos quiera sin tener el stress de "se me van a acabar y tendré que esperar hasta que salga el siguiente".
Como se nota que no tengo libro que leer.
Lo chistoso es que lo hago para cambiarme las ideas, descansar de mi lista (que a veces me parece interminable) de cosas relacionadas con nuestra boda, y resulta que en la serie, pues dos de los personajes andan planeando su boda, etc, etc... so it hits close to home, pero bueno sigue siendo chistoso y entretenido.

The world's greatest groom

So in my frenzy I forgot to mention something really important: the Groom.
He has been REALLY supportive, I mean for the number of times that I have broken down crying in the last week, he should probably get an award for support, empathy and patience!
He makes me laugh, me da contención cuando siento que los problemas me abruman, cuando no puedo ver una posible solución, me abraza y me pasa un kleenex cuando lloro.

Lo amo, me siento feliz y afortunada de casarme con él.

Es el amor de mi vida.

wedding frenzy

Ok, avoiding bridezilla gets harder and harder the more the date approaches, and trust me it is not without reason.
First of, having to deal with rejection, you know all the people I hoped would be there that dont really know if they'll be able to make it(like its really not that important to them as it is to us) or simply say no with a lame (not to them obviously) excuse.
Its tough, specially when I find myself without an enthusiastic crowd to talk about our wedding plans, which is the case since only 1 friend (former collegue-not that close) is coming from Canada. I mean I understand that its a destination wedding in some sort (a small village in Mexico), but I didn't even blink when one of my very good friends invited me as her bridesmaid to her wedding in Puebla in October in 2008. And might I add that I confirmed my assistance and bought my airline ticket in march of that year, without knowing if I'd have vacations or a job-for that matter- in october...Oh! And I sacrificed spending christmas with my family in Mexico that year.
But that's just me, I guess not that many people would do that. As it turns out, the friend I'm talking about might not even come to my wedding...
So whenever I meet with my girlfriends here instead of getting all excited about my wedding and they're presence, I just feel uneasy about discussing the details, and as you might already imagine, there's not much enthusiasm, since I wouldn't want to make them feel bad about missing out.
So it sucks!
I wish my mother lived closer by, or for that matter, I wish I would be surrounded by my family and friends from Mexico, specially my bridesmaids, to feel more emotional support and have less emotional breakdowns.

Planning a wedding in another country, long distance, is incredibly complicated! In fact I'm not only planning our wedding day, no, its far more complex than that... I am actually helping people plan their vacations while attending our wedding, so I'm a sort of travel agent/bride, oh! and I also have to deal with hotel reservations, the bachelorette... actually 2 bachelorette parties, one in Montréal, and one in Mexico, and the rehearsal dinner. But that's not all, since we have about 16 foreign guests, we have to find a way to pick them up at the airport(did I mention we have no car in Mexico), show them around a bit, I mean after all they did make the effort to go that far, and then organize transportation for all of them to the wedding venue.
Maybe I am overdramatizing, I tend to do so sometimes, but honestly I feel A LOT of pressure right now, from all around.
The photographer cancelled on us last week, so I have to find a new one...
Decorations...
Mariachi...
Fireworks...
Invitations that haven't arrived to their destination
RSVPs before april 10th (we are already on the 6th of april)
Seating chart, once everyone confirms or declines
Placement cards
Menus
Photos of us for a slideshow
Photos of us for the decoration on the tables
Flowers (which type) and bouquet
Grooms suit, shirt, shoes, etc
Legal requisites to get married
Registry for wedding gifts
Etc...

I cant think of everything right now but I'm sure I'm missing something...
Oh! Like writting our own vows...


Y luego esta el otro lado de la moneda, el tener que decir NO, enemil veces a la gente que quiere venir acompañada y no puede, porque tenemos límite de espacio y de presupuesto.
Desde las que quieren traer a una amiga (what is the deal with going alone to a wedding if you already know 30% of the guests?!) y las que quieren traer al novio o a un date. Sorry, lo siento mucho pero no se puede. Cuantas veces lo he dicho hasta ahora... uff! its exhausting! And everytime I say it I feel bad, cuz I would love for everyone to be able to come with a date, but because we are the one's paying for the wedding - and trust me, its gonna drain our savings completely- then saying NO is the only option even if its not easy.

(and this are only the wedding related issues, I'm not even metioning tax payments and Computer problems that cost a fortune!)

Ok, I feel lighter already, I think Im gonna have some comfort food for dinner and watch some TV and try and relax.